Monday, September 18, 2006


Did you know that the "X" in "Xmas" is a substitute crucifix for Christ? That's what THE FALL said, on 1978's "No Xmas For John Quays". It sort of explains why my religious grandmother was always so bummed when, as a kid, I used to verbally call it "Xmas" in her presence instead of Christmas. Speaking of defiling the spirit of the season, there's a real hideous Christmas beer out there that I need to warn you about. It's called GALE'S CHRISTMAS ALE, and it's an English beer made by GEORGE GALE & CO. LTD. You might get suckered in by the happy Santa on the bottle, or by a premature ej________ over the prospect of Holiday beers already hitting the shelves in September. This is probably overstock from 4 years ago, and tasted accordingly. Like a batch of eggnog that had gone to mold under the tree, had dried, and was scraped out for flavor & seasoning, Then someone plopped a stick of nutmeg in there but forgot to wash it, and then yanked it out with muddy hands and overdid it with Palmolive, and then used Thames River water scooped from right where the boats park. That explains the untold ounces of sediment left festering in my chalice before I decided to dump the whole rotten thing down the drain. Yep - a pour-out; can you insult a $4 bottle of beer any more than that? This now has the honor and distinction of being the single worst beer we've sampled since starting the blog last March, just breaking AVENTINUS WEIZEN EISBOCK's previous low. 2/10 - and please, don't try it just to see if I'm joking. I might convert to Judiasm or hell, Wahhabism over this one.

No comments: